Super Sleuthing

I don’t generally use this site for tasteless gossip, but hey, it’s Friday, it’s freezing cold, and I have a little time on my hands right now.

As I was perusing Perez Hilton, reading yet another ridiculous post about Kim Kardashian’s well oiled rear end, I noticed something suspicious. How could the entire media gossip world have missed this one?

Kim is not, in fact naked. I repeat, she is NOT actually naked! While everyone is posting stories on what type of oil was used to make her butt so shiny ( it’s been attributed to a local French baby oil by her makeup artist, and to a hair oil from her very own haircare line by Mrs. West herself,) I am here to tell you differently. She is wearing a skin toned, latex suit! Uh-huh honey ( see what I did there with the Kanye reference?) This particular photo shows subtle lines around her upper body, which are clearly straps. Blow this photo up a little bit and see what I mean. A photo expert, who happens to live in this house, noted that the skin reflections are different on the presumed covered parts than on the actual skin. And when I  blew it up in more dramatically in photoshop ( I really do need to get a life) you can see where she has been photoshopped down a size or two ( or three.)

She has been photographed recently wearing latex clothing from fetishwear designer Atsuko Kudo, In a recent comment to the Daily Mail, the designer remarked,”‘Latex fits so much to the body that to the naked eye it’s very difficult to tell if it’s a top and a skirt, or a dress.”. ( Or a bodysuit to make it look like you’re nude when you really aren’t?)
Kim’s skin-tight outfit appears to leave little room for underwear, and Simon admitted it generally looks better if the wearer does go sans pants.

Ah-ha! Another clue. Did Kudo design a special suit to smooth her skin, compress her a bit and make her look sleeker and slicker?

Take a look at this photo from Perez Hilton, and see what you think. The caption is referring to the oil, but I, dear readers, have found something different. kim-kardashian-paper-oil-doodle__oPt
Look at the scoop under her arm, and the straps and scooped back. Those aren’t tan lines!

I should have been a detective…Mwahhahahahaha!

Break the internet Indigo Jones!

*We shall resume our more tasteful and useful stories on Monday!

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