Posts Tagged ‘Apple genius’

One Bad Apple

November 13, 2014

This morning, I noticed that my iPhone had  stopped downloading email. At first I attributed it to a bad WIFI connection. Later, I realized something was wrong. I logged on to make a Genius Bar appointment, and was redirected to try to resolve it via iChat.

Usually, when I go to the Genius Bar, they press a few buttons and fix my problem,taking just a shred of my dignity with it. Today, I foolishly opted to keep my dignity and resolve the issue elsewhere.

The Chat began. Each comment had a lag time of about 5 minutes before it was answered, making it a rather slow conversation. When the first cyber genius was unable to help me, she passed me on to her superior. After about an hour with him, he passed me on to an even higher power. When I read his first text introducing himself as Jesus, I lost it. Big time. Good thing it was a text chat, because I laughed like a maniac alone in my room for a long, long time. You know the feeling, right? Tears streaming, uncontrollable guffawing, and trouble catching your breath. My thoughts ran the gamut: What would Jesus do?(WWJD?) I mean, if Jesus can’t fix my iPhone, who can?


We did resets, we tried deleting and reinstalling the account. Somewhere along the way I finally upgraded to IOS 8, but still, no emails.

Apparently Jesus couldn’t fix it after all. After 3 hours with Jesus and his various disciples, he set up a phone call with his boss for 4:30.

I was positively giddy. Was I about to talk to God?

Nope, just a really nice guy named Rik, who couldn’t figure out what was wrong with my phone either. By now, four hours had passed without resolution. The geniuses were flummoxed. What could be the problem?

After all that, there is only one thing it could possibly be:

Clearly, Kim Kardashian’s butt really did break the internet!kim-kardashian-paper-cover

Top Photo:  Glasshouse Images

Kim K photo: Paper Magazine

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Mercury in Retrograde Woes

August 29, 2010

We seem to be having an appliance meltdown at our house. Sure, the little things always go; the clock radio ceased to go off at the required time, the handle fell off the garlic press, and we have broken more glasses than we currently own. But this week, the big things went too.

First it was the refrigerator. The repairman was dispatched and gave us a quote for $1200 to replace the compressor, and a suggestion to consider getting a new refrigerator.  A little on-line research and a few phone calls turned up some substantial sticker shock. A new basic model stainless steel Sub Zero refrigerator now costs $8000, plus tax. Say what? We explored other options and discovered that you can’t fit a Sears Kenmore peg in a Sub Zero hole.

Next, we booked Miele to come in and take a look at our very slow yet very hot clothes dryer.  Verdict pending.

I tried to call home to see how things were going and got a recording stating that the line was out of service. Apparently, the Verizon guy came to work on the cable T.V. service, and cut off the phone line in the process. Add cable and telephone to the growing list of problems.

Trying to see the last remaining glass on the shelf as “half full” I remarked that at least we were busy work-wise.  Just as Spencer finished a big job and booked 2 more, one of the studio computers went down. You know, the one that the digital camera runs off, of course. The Apple Genius declared it dead of natural causes (5 years is ancient in Macintosh terms) and steered him to the sales floor.

Fearful of the whole house falling down, forcing us to live in a Sub Zero refrigerator box on the street, I searched for the root of our problem.  It seems, that Mercury is in retrograde. Yikes!

For years I have heard people refer to Mercury being in retrograde as the root of life’s disruptions. But I was not aware that the planetary forces actually had an effect of appliance function.

This particular retrograde (the time in which Mercury appears to travel in reverse through the sky) is in Capricorn, the Earth sign, and as chance may have it, my astrological sign as well.  Mercury officially turned retrograde on August 20, and will not turn direct until September 12.

According to California Psychics, now is a terrible time to negotiate contracts, file a lawsuit, travel without a back-up plan, start a new job, or, you guessed it, buy or repair electronics!  In our case, short of living urban prairie style, we are going to need to do something about our appliance situation before a major planetary realignment.

They do however recommend reviewing the past and using this reverse energy to re-apply for a job, rewrite your resume, recontact people from the past, and do research.

Currently, we have restored cable, telephone and refrigerator service.  We replaced our clock with another one in the house with a reliable alarm, and are patiently awaiting the dryer repairman next week.  With only 2 more weeks of Mercury in retrograde to go, we are hunkering down and toughing it out. Until the next one that is, expected November 24.

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