This week, I witnessed an exchange among some teens, which ended poorly. What began as innocent teasing, became hurtful and resulted in a teary departure from the female in the group. After a two day texting marathon, and a lot of hurled accusations, I realized that young men need some lessons that they can’t learn in school. Feeling the need to cut to the chase for them (which of course I didn’t do!) I decided to offer a public service post for young men and anyone else dealing with women, young and old.
Tips for Boys Of All Ages:
- If you make a girl cry, you are wrong. This is not about rational negotiations. Face the facts. If they are crying, you hurt their feelings whether you meant to or not.
- Apologize with sincerity, and then STFU! There is no value in adding a “but”. Say you are sorry and move on.
- If someone’s feelings are hurt, you can’t take those emotions away from them. Don’t tell them they are wrong to feel hurt. Tell them you are sorry you made them feel this way, and that you did not intend for your comments or your behavior to be upsetting or unkind. This is good advice for all of us, regardless of age or gender.
- Flowers are a nice touch. Females are suckers for flowers and grand gestures. They show that the person you offended is important to you, and that you are a nice guy with a sensitive side. This is certainly not a neccessity, but it is a meaningful gesture that will be appreciated.
- Don’t discuss it with your friends. The last thing a girl wants is to know that everyone is aware that you brought her to tears. Keep it to yourself, and help her save face.
- Don’t bring up your issues. This simply isn’t the time. If you want to salvage this relationship, end the drama, and discuss other issues later when emotions are not as high.
- You can’t win. No matter what you do, or what you say, you can’t win. Don’t even try. You will only regret it. You made them cry dude! You need to repent for that sin.
- Sometimes you have to eat crow. It’s ok…we hear it tastes like chicken.
Photos: Glasshouse Images
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