Secret to a Happy Marriage


Tomorrow marks my 31st wedding anniversary. I met him when I was still in school. He claims it was love at first sight,and that I just didn’t realize it for a long, long time.
He wasn’t at all my type, and I didn’t even consider him boyfriend material. He was however, a nice guy, and during a summer break in college when not too many people were around, we started hanging out.
I guess he eventually he grew on me, because about 5 years later we were married.
Since we met in our teens, it is easy to imagine how different we must be today. We have grown up together, had career successes and failures, adopted an amazing child, shared our life with another incredible young man who has brought a lovely women and adorable baby into our lives to love.


Yet, I would be lying if I didn’t say that this man can irritate me like no other. When you live with another person; friend, relative or lover, you will find some, or many of their habits annoying. When people ask me how I have been able to make it work so long, I always give this reply:

Every morning, my husband unloads the dishwasher. He stacks the bowls however they fit, which is often the larger ones placed percariously on top of the smaller ones. He puts the toaster in the cupboard sideways, so nothing else fits back in. He leaves a ring of sticky stuff on the counters. And every morning, I quietly restack the bowls, flip the position of the toaster, and wipe the sticky spot.

I could make a fuss about this. I could complain about it everyday. I mean, how hard is it to do properly? Didn’t he ever play with blocks as a child? Clearly, things stack best from large to small. But if I make a fuss over things this trivial, then what happens when a real issue comes along?

The moral of the story, is that I pick my battles and I’m sure he picks his. I don’t dwell on the little things. It just makes everyone unhappy. If the worst thing he does in life is stack the bowls wrong, how bad is that?
Oh, I do my share of snarking, and he does too. But at the end of the day, that’s all it is. He is my partner in crime, and I hope he will continue to be that for a long, long time. I try to focus on the positive and just walk away shaking my head at the rest. Because, life is simply too short to sweat the minutia.


Here’s to another 31 years of restacking bowls, turning toasters and wiping sticky spots!

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One Response to “Secret to a Happy Marriage”

  1. Jane Weisling Says:

    Love the wedding photos, Shari! You looked beautiful, and a sweet, sweet love story!

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