I have an ugly little secret. Don’t tell anyone, but I have a bunion on my left foot. A really, really ugly bunion.
It’s been there for years. For a long time, I considered it a badge of courage; a medal for enduring pounding runs, and teetering high heels. It came about during the late ‘90s, when pointy toes were all the rage, and grew larger as heels grew higher.
Despite slathering my feet with Vaseline every morning before I go to the gym, I have callouses in that area, as well as the occasional blister. Not pretty.
The bunion rarely hurts, so I just ignore it and hope it goes away. Recently, I started experiencing some pain elsewhere on my foot, and when I looked at the slightly swollen area on the top of my foot, the red welts from uncomfortable shoes, and the big old lump sticking out of one side, I knew something needed to be done before sandal season.
As usual, rather than consult a real professional, I consulted Google. According to various websites of varying degrees of credibility, many bunions come from the toes being compressed for long periods of time. (Those stilettos really are to blame!) Most doctors recommend a simple surgery to reset the bones to their original locale.
In my opinion, no surgery is “simple” and I set out to find a home remedy.
If compression caused the problem, than it only seems natural that stretching the toes apart should reverse the damage, right?
While perusing the local Duane Reade the other day, I found my ally, by the name of
“Goodnight Bunion” is a medieval looking contraption that hooks onto your big toe to “gently realign tight tendons and muscles in your foot while you sleep as an alternative to surgery.”
For a fully refundable $9.99, my foot problems are on the way out.
The first night, B tried to help me figure out how to put it on. She ultimately consulted her Holy Grail, YOUTUBE, where she found a video tutorial entitled “How to put on Goodnight Bunion.” Yes, it’s that complicated.
Once strapped into the thing, it is nearly impossible to walk. Sleeping with a big plastic thing on your foot is also challenging, unless you sleep flat on your back. Otherwise, the shin of your other leg gets very bruised, thus distracting you from the discomfort of your bunion.
The first 2 nights I had to take it off after only a couple of hours. It seems that one of the side effects of Goodnight Bunion, is Good Morning Arch Cramps!
Alas, enduring pain is the price of beauty, and I am determined to self heal my gnarly foot.